Hello all! For this week’s transcript Tuesday I have decided to share with you a few poems. This is actually pretty hard for me, because my poems have always been a form of therapy for me. What makes it more difficult is that none of these are new; other than 1 poem I wrote 2 years ago, I haven’t written any poetry in 5 years.
This first one I wrote in August 2009:
Surrender
I am broken, not shattered,
Blood pours out like wine.
Faint memories of what was,
Still, yet barely, shine.
What caused the wall,
To crumble to the ground?
Why is it that, today,
Pride is no where to be found?
Where did I lose all control,
Who is to blame for this?
Severed hand reaches higher,
Begging for Holy kiss.
Lose focus on yesterday,
It cannot help you now.
Today is a new day,
It’s time to make a new vow.
Scattered to the wind,
All I used to believe.
Separating good from bad,
To Him will I cleave.
There’s nothing else,
But He who doth see.
All that I was,
All that I can be.
For who else could love,
And foresee a work of art.
In a creature so wretched,
Desperately needing a new start?
All good comes together,
But putty in his hands.
Giving up my will to resist,
Now it’s all His plans.
Someone has to do better,
Better than I have done.
I have to be trained,
For the battle to be won.
I can’t do it on my own,
I lose left and right.
I can’t look at myself,
Unless through Your sight.
Sacrificing self,
To You I surrender.
Mind, Body, Soul,
Heart to You render.
Alone I cannot stand,
Alone You cannot fall.
My kingdom lays waste,
While You’re Lord of all.
This second poem, from October 2008, is a lot darker. I used to have this recurring nightmare, which is described in the poem, from age 9 or 10 until…well it stopped after I wrote it down. The odd part is this particular nightmare is the only time (I can recall) that I have ever dreamed in black and white (save for the rose part in the middle).
Recurring
I awaken in a daze,
Unsure and out of sorts.
All color has drained,
People gathered, in cohorts.
Before thinking,
Becomes at all clear.
Plotting turns to decision,
And anger is all I hear.
Bound and led away,
What will end this day?
Stolen in confusion,
Praying for absolution.
Brought on trial,
In total denial.
For what crime,
Did I commit this time?
People I love,
Those held dear.
Are with the accusers,
Not shedding a tear.
Fingers shoved,
In my direction.
Not a kind word,
Hate is their only inflection.
A burst of color,
Seals my fate.
Dark red rose,
Blood lust satiate.
Beaten, spat upon,
They all curse my name.
Leading me to my death,
I hide my face in shame.
No mourners here,
No sympathy.
I want the end,
They wish for me.
Bound hastily,
Thrust forward.
Cheering now,
As I get my just reward.
Hooded figure,
Harbinger of Death.
Cloak and Dagger,
Come to steal my last breath.
Hope here for me,
Would be but a delusion.
So I resign to my wanted demise,
Finally escaping this illusion.
I really don’t want to leave this on a depressing note, so I will share one more. This one is from September 2008, and it’s pretty self-explanatory.
Phoenix Eternal
Despite the claims,
Of it being my time.
Sorry to disappoint,
But higher I will climb.
Kissing the sun,
Above it all I rise.
Not resorting to ashes,
Don’t expect my demise.
I feel free,
Stronger every second.
Brighter than before,
A force to be reckoned.
My feathers spread,
Glorious in conflict.
If you sought my destruction,
I’m afraid you’ve been tricked.
No wounds, no dents,
Not a scratch to my soul.
For my heart is hidden,
In The One who makes me whole.
I hope you all enjoyed these poems, if you did or have any critiques please drop a comment!
Until the next page…
Phoenix Living 